By Cavin Harper
I’ve lived most of my life in the Western regions of Wyoming and Colorado, so I sometimes look at things differently from people in other parts of the country. While living in the West doesn’t make me a cowboy, that culture has influenced me, as our roots and upbringing play a role in shaping who we are. While geography or culture impacts us, our worldview shapes how we think.
In any cultural and ethnic context, worldview is what we believe about reality—where everything came from, why we are here, why the world is the way it is, and what happens after we die. Our worldview is the paradigm from which we act, think, and relate in our world. It’s the one thing we pass to another generation that really matters.
If we see things through a false paradigm, the legacy we pass to another generation will produce a false reality. A paradigm rooted in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and biblical truth will produce a legacy of true hope and eternal life that another generation will hopefully embrace.
I once heard the story of a country cowboy who visited his cousin in New York City. They were walking down the busy streets filled with the typical noise of the big city—honking taxis, delivery trucks, people talking, emergency vehicle sirens, and construction. Suddenly, the cowboy stopped and said, “Shh, do you hear that?”
“Hear what?” his cousin asked. “I hear lots of things.”
“The cricket,” he replied. “Don’t you hear the cricket?”
“Cricket?” His cousin was incredulous. “Are you kidding? You can hear a cricket in all this noise?”
Looking around, the cowboy stooped down and reached into a crack between the sidewalk and a building, pulling out a small cricket. “How did you hear that?” his astonished cousin asked.
“It depends on what your ears are tuned to,” the cowboy replied. “Let me show you.”
The cowboy reached into his pocket and took out a few coins. Casually, he dropped the coins on the sidewalk. At that moment, dozens of heads turned and looked in the direction of the clinking sound of the coins hitting the sidewalk, even above all the city noise.
“You see. It’s a matter of what your ear is trained to hear.”
What we focus on is largely the result of what we train our ears to hear daily. Parents and grandparents are to help train another generation to hear what is worth hearing by tuning into what is true and life-giving. Don’t be tempted to think you don’t have what it takes to make much of an impact because the Bible declares otherwise.
Four Biblical Steps for Tuning-In
Here are three steps parents and grandparents can use when practicing effective ear-tuning.
1. Guard Your Soul
Moses said in Deuteronomy 4:9, “Only be careful and watch yourselves closely. . . .” We must diligently guard our souls and lead by example in order to train the next generation to know, love, and serve Christ. Develop meaningful connections with your children and grandchildren by intentionally pursuing ways to connect and engage with them. Don’t allow busyness or distance to keep you from a relationship with your family.
For grandparents, it is easy to fall prey to what I call the ‘Elderitis Virus’—that state of the soul in old age that breeds unfruitfulness and disconnection with younger generations due to a desensitized spirit, hardened heart, foolish mind, and an absence of purpose. This results in a loss of impact or respect in which the inner man is no longer being renewed, where vision is replaced by reminiscence, and wisdom gives way to folly. Resist this debilitating virus by committing to cultivating connections with the younger generations, starting with your own grandchildren. In the technological age, even distance shouldn’t be an excuse for being disconnected.
2. Participate in the Family of God
We have a responsibility not to ignore the spiritual children and grandchildren God has placed in our lives within the family of God. I know it’s easy to settle for what’s normative in most churches today, where all the generations come together in one place at the same time each week but never really do life together. We must not be content to exist in our generational silos.
I’m not saying you must be a children’s or youth worker to engage with other generations in your church. However, you can take time to introduce yourself to someone in a younger generation and ask how you might pray for him or her. I’m amazed at how often this leads to incredible opportunities. (Please check out Tony Souder’s “Pray for Me Campaign” to learn more about how you can be a prayer champion for someone from another generation in your church.)
3. Understand the Times
Our children and grandchildren live in a world where they must navigate many things that generate bad ideas. Let me describe some of the things they face today.
Modernism/Post-Modernism: Rejects truth and rational thinking; man makes himself “god” and worships at the altar of science (though frequently dishonest science).
Political Correctness and Moral Relativism: Rejects an assigned moral compass given by God as revealed in Scripture. This moral vacuum shapes views of sexuality, sexual orientation, and gender identity and makes what was once unthinkable unquestionable. Each person does what is right in his own eyes.
Technology: The internet, smartphones, social media, virtual reality, and AI (Artificial Intelligence) create new challenges in relationships, exploitation, and information validation. I can resist and resent it, but it is not going away.
Addictions: Drug use, experimentation, and addictions of all kinds are escalating at increasingly younger ages and negatively impacting mental health.
Societal Perceptions of Religion: Today’s conventional view is that religion, especially Christianity, is the problem.
Breakdown of the Family: Abandonment of traditional family structures and marriage’s God-given meaning and purpose.
Education: An educational system that propagandizes children and seeks to dictate their value system by canceling opposing views.
Before we get bent out of shape by all of this, we must remember and acknowledge that it happened on our watch, much like it did in Israel (Judges 2:10).
4. Learn What to Do
It’s up to us to learn about the world today and how we can help our children and grandchildren understand that ideas have consequences and bad ideas have victims. I urge you to investigate and use the many beneficial resources that ministries like RenewaNation, Summit Ministries, AXIS, and the Christian Grandparenting Network provide to help you understand our time and know what to do.
We must also constantly ask the Lord to search our own hearts, expose our thoughts, and reveal any offensive way that keeps us from hearing the sounds of truth and walking in the “way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). Assess what your ears and heart are tuned toward by testing what most easily catches your attention. Do you focus on God’s love in the morning and His faithfulness at night (Ps. 92) or your fears, troubles, and frenzies of life? Do you meditate on the wonder of God’s deeds and the profoundness of His thought, or are you placing your attention on the cares of this world and the opinions of CNN, Fox News, and Wall Street? Is the cadence of your life dictated by the promises of God or by your circumstances?
Our children and grandchildren need to see what it looks like to be tuned in to the things of God that offer life, hope, and peace amid a troubled world. Social media and frenzied lives make it difficult for them to hear the sounds of truth and life. If we want to help them hear a different tune, we need to do some soul-searching to ensure we know what we are tuned to hear.
Cavin Harper is the Executive Director of ElderQuest Ministries, which seeks to connect the generations. He advocates for grandparents raising grandchildren and is the former founder, president, and COO of Christian Grandparenting Network. He is a speaker on intergenerational mentoring and ministry and the author of four books, a blog, and a podcast called Engaging the Generations. Cavin and Diane were married in 1969 and live in Colorado Springs, Colorado.