Surviving the Seasons of Discouragement

By Jeff Keaton

One definition of the word discouragement reads like this: “a loss of confidence or enthusiasm.” I wish there were a state of spiritual maturity available to Christians on earth in which discouragement was forever gone. I wish I could pray hard enough, read enough Scripture, and fellowship with God’s people enough to keep discouragement forever out of my life and mind. I think we would all agree this state simply doesn’t exist in this life. Some people are more naturally inclined to experience less discouragement than others, and not everyone is called to climb the same mountains. However, in almost twenty years as a pastor and now thirty-two years in full-time vocational ministry, I have met very few Christians or Christian leaders who do not experience seasons of discouragement. As we read the Bible, we see that great spiritual leaders of the past were not exempt from the burden of discouragement.

Perhaps the best example of a mighty man of God who experienced powerful moves of God in his life and yet fell into deep discouragement was the prophet Elijah. In 1 Kings 18-19, Elijah asked God to defeat the prophets of Baal, and God showed up big time. This great work of God through Elijah angered Queen Jezebel so much that she wanted to kill Elijah: “Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, ‘So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow’” (1 Kings 19:2).

How did this powerful prophet respond to this threat on his life? Immediately, Elijah went from a mountaintop experience to the depths of despair and discouragement: “Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, ‘It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.’ And he lay down and slept under a broom tree” (1 Kings 19:3-5).

Elijah was only one day or so away from the mightiest move of God he had ever seen, and here we find him begging God to die. Have you ever been there? I wish I could say that I am not prone to discouragement, but I must admit I face seasons of discouragement. Most of them are short-lived, usually a few days, but some have hung over my life for much longer periods of time. I am not talking about a state of clinical depression. I have dear friends who have battled with clinical depression for a lifetime, and I don’t want to compare my struggles to the daily battle they face with such courage. I don’t believe I have ever experienced clinical depression, but what I’m talking about is a sense of negativity and gloom that things aren’t going to work out in whatever endeavor I am involved in. I’m confident almost everyone faces these seasons of discouragement.

So, how should we respond to our seasons of discouragement? I don’t have a perfect answer, but I thought I would share a few simple thoughts about how I have approached them over the years.

1. Don’t make any life-altering decisions during a season of discouragement.

I have said the craziest things to my wife during times of discouragement. Thankfully, my wife is as steady as the rising sun, and she is always a voice of reason during my worst moments. Usually, the clouds lift after a few days, and I can see things clearly once again. Many people have made life-altering decisions while discouraged and have deeply regretted them later.

2. Don’t give in to the lust of the flesh during a season of discouragement.

Often, when we are at our lowest point, Satan attacks and tempts us to find relief through a temporary pleasure that we will later regret. Many Christian leaders have found relief from the pressures of ministry through an illicit activity. This will make things one hundred percent worse and not better, but it can be very attractive during a time of darkness.

3. Talk openly to the Lord when you feel like giving up.

I cannot tell you how many times a long talk with the Lord was the beginning of the end of my time of discouragement. I’m encouraging you to tell Him exactly how you are feeling. I know He already knows your thoughts, but I’ve found it very healing to say them out loud to Him. In those talks with the Lord, I have often been reminded that He is not a fickle God and will not give up on me because I am His son. God loves me a million times more than even my earthly father loves me. He loves me more than I love my girls, and that’s a huge amount of love! When I think of the depths of His love for me, I start to believe that I am going to be okay. In my talks with Him, I ask Him to keep me from making wrong decisions during this time of discouragement, and I do my best to embrace the experience so that I can learn what He wants me to know.

4. Don’t talk too much during a time of discouragement, but find one or two confidants to whom you can pour your heart out.

As a leader, you must be very careful about what you say. I hate to inform you, but anything you say can and will be used against you at some point in the future. I’m sure I have crossed the line at times with my staff, but I try my best not to share every thought with my team. They can’t handle it and don’t need to carry my entire burden. However, we should all have one or two confidants who can handle our burden and who will be lovingly honest with us. Sometimes, we’re simply having a pity party and need a little rebuke from a confidant. At other times, God will use a close friend to talk us off the edge of the cliff.

I remember in the early days of RenewaNation when we were struggling like nothing I had ever experienced in my life, two people talked the nonsense out of my head. With all my heart, I believed that I had failed as a leader and that RenewaNation would not make it. These two friends, whom I highly respect, held me up when I had no strength left to stand. They believed in me and the mission when I could not find the strength to believe. I’m not recommending that you never deal with negative issues in your organization in a blunt and frank way, but I am encouraging you to be wise enough not to spread a spirit of despair among your team every time you’ve hit a season of discouragement.

5. Evaluate what discourages you most and work to improve the situation so that it does not become a continual source of discouragement.

I once had a donor who gave our organization a lot of money, but was extremely difficult to deal with. They would forget things they told us and then act as if we had not followed through. Eventually, I realized this one person had me discouraged on a regular basis. I decided, at the cost of losing a significant amount of money for the organization, that I would no longer work with that donor.

It may be an employee that needs to go or some other situation that, if dealt with, will lighten your load. Do it! Stop making yourself miserable just to please a few people. Ask yourself today, what are the top three things in my life that are keeping me discouraged? Once you have identified these things, create a plan, through prayer and good counsel, to resolve those issues. I’ve found that when I have a plan to fix those things that cause me the most concern, I tend to start feeling much better.

6. Stop looking for utopia in this life.

There are no stress-free jobs, schools, and churches. No one has it perfectly easy. Some are just better at faking it, or perhaps they have matured and are better at living with life in perspective. Some have stuck with it long enough to work out the worst challenges, leading organizations with strong and healthy cultures and leadership. Things can get better, but they will never be perfect.

7. If God hasn’t given you crystal clear direction to do something different, then put one foot in front of the other until the clouds of discouragement lift.

When I took my first church in the inner city of South Florida, I was overwhelmed with the challenges I faced living in a godless culture. Everything I had ever known had been taken away from me in this new world, and I wanted to return to what I grew up in. I asked the Lord one day, “Why did you move me here? Was it just so I could learn how to preach and then go back and take one of the churches in the movement I grew up in?” The Lord spoke boldly into my mind and said, “I want you to act as if you are going to be here the rest of your life, and if I ever decide to move you, I will make it so clear you will not be able to miss it.”

From that moment on, I have lived my entire life with this approach. Once God makes an assignment clear to me, I act as if I will be there for the rest of my life. Over the last thirty-two years, He has only told me to take a new ministry assignment twice, but He made it so clear each time that I knew what He wanted me to do. On many occasions, the only thing that kept me going was the understanding that God had not called me to something else.

Do not allow the devil to get you in the flesh and cause you to leave a place before it is God’s time. Trust God, and keep taking the next step. In His time, He will lift the clouds, and you will be glad you waited on Him and His plan.

8. Remember that things aren’t usually as bad as they seem in the midst of discouragement, and things will turn out better than you expect in most situations.

When I am most discouraged, I try to reflect on God’s track record in my life and the ministries I have led. When I do this, I often think about all the unnecessary fretting I have done because, over and over again, God has come through! I’m not saying this comes naturally or easily when facing discouragement, but it is always effective in helping me move forward.

I don’t know where you find yourself today, but if I could, I would put my arm around you and pray over you. I would do my best to remind you how much God loves and cares for you and how important you are to the work God has called you to do. I would also tell you that you are going to be okay! You are going to make it. As a matter of fact, as soon as I’m done writing this article, I am going to stop and pray for all who will read this and need an uplifting touch from the Lord. He knows your name, and He will wrap you in His arms.