As adults, we are responsible for the training of our children. But are we being responsible?
The following includes excerpts from an article by Mike Parker who writes for The Free Press. Used by permission.
We constantly hear, “Christmas is for children.” I am not exactly sure what that statement means, but I do know that during this time of year, most of us have our children on our hearts and minds in a special way. I want to suggest that this Christmas season, we spend some time focusing on something more important than tinsel, presents, and parties. We need to focus on the moral education of children.
One writer shared his view on the conduct of children:
“The street conduct and language of … children seems rather distressing to one who is native born, and who notes the deterioration of general demeanor on the part of these non-intentional miscreants.” - New York Times on July 29, 1912
Another article reports:
“But juvenile delinquency was up 20 percent over last year in Los Angeles; in New Orleans it was up 56 percent among Negroes, 5 percent among whites; in Boston up 15 percent. Said Dr. Mary Fisher, head of Vassar's child-study department: ‘There are thousands of 12-to 15-year-old girls who flirt with men in uniform. Educators should do something about them. They are war casualties.’” - from an article titled “Children Without Morals” in Time magazine on Oct. 5, 1942.
A recent Josephson Institute study published this year surveyed 29,000 children. The study showed that 64 percent said they had cheated on a test; 36 percent said they have used the Internet to plagiarize school work; 42 percent admitted they had lied to save money; 30 percent admitted to shoplifting. Of this same group, 93 percent said they were satisfied with their personal morality.
The unethical behavior of children and teens has been a concern for years. Whether we are talking about July 1912, October 1942, or December 2008, most of us express concerns about the morals young people practice.
But one of the most important realizations we can have is that attitudes toward what is right and wrong, and what is good and evil, are caught – not taught.
Children did not engage in the shady deals that devastated the savings and loans 20 years ago. Children did not make loans that produced the current credit crunch and brought the stock market to its knees. Children did not skim off millions to grant themselves Golden Parachutes as businesses failed.
If adults are concerned about children lying and cheating, then maybe they should take a look at their own behavior. In every generation, adult behavior – especially parental behavior – drives the moral attitudes children display.
Adults express concern about the selfishness we see kids display. But are we concerned about our own materialism? Are we setting the right kind of example?
As one old evangelist once said, "If we educate the minds of children without educating their sense of morals and ethics, we do little more than create “clever devils.”"
We all need to be the type of people we want our children to become.
I hope some of the attributes we want to see in our children are honor, integrity, honesty, compassion, kindness, and generosity. If we want our children to display these traits, we must show them how. Sometimes our actions talk so loudly that children cannot hear our words.
Mike Parker is a columnist for The Free Press. He can be reached at mparker16@suddenlink.net or in care of the newspaper.